Are you tired of always having to reach for a tool when working on your car? Or how about getting a spoon in the kitchen, preparing a meal, having to reach all the way across the table? Who has time for that?

Why reach when you could be using The Amazing Betelgeusian Army HandYes, now the latest in intergalactic technology has brought you an ( Read more... )

Once upon a time, there was a little gnome with a wart. This might not have been surprising, since most gnomes have warts. In fact, warts are treasured among gnomes; they measure and brag about who has the biggest wart, or the hairiest wart, or whose wart is in the most prominent place. A wart on the cheek is valued over one on the forehead, and ( Read more... )

I'm going to talk about a passage of writing that has deeply affected me; that gave me shivers when I first read it, and has haunted me ever since.

The passage comes from Warner Communications' 1977 annual report to its shareholders:

Entertainment has become a necessity. The statement seems unsupportable: can entertainment be necessary in the ( Read more... )

“Janice! Janice? Janice, I’m home! What’s for dinner?” I wonder where the wife is as the door shuts behind me. Augh, what a day, what a day...it’s good to get these boots off my feet, I think they’re giving me a bunion. It’s hard to bend down and work the laces nowadays...always wondering what else I can do as long as I’m down there ( Read more... )

There was no light down here. No real light, anyway, only the weird amber of the sodium vapor lamps, that never felt natural. Other than that, there was grey concrete, oil stains, and cars, lots of cars ( Read more... )

I intend to join LJ Idol: Exhibit B this season.